Dear Senator McCain,

If, as you suggested to Jon Stewart, when we pull out of Iraq the enemy will follow our troops home to attack us here... then won't our high tech Homeland Security watchdogs stop them in their tracks? Maybe we can shoot them with one of those $8 Million dollar per unit armed glider Reapers that hover over our borders sensing warm bodies to shoot just like in video games.
Or we can use that $20 Billion V22 Osprey, when and if ever it finally works.
(Ah, nothing like the military-industrial-complex to keep the economy humming.)

Bringing the rodents out of the swamp will prove that all the taxpayer money you spent on our brand new shiny Office of Homeland Security was justified! After all, if you store the cake under the sink, that's where the rats go, or whatever William Krystol said, and we sure did put a lot of "cake under the sink" (we "lost" about $8 Billion in cash) in Iraq.
And think of the great Stories of Heroism our Office of Civilian Propaganda could craft if we lured the enemy here! It would rouse the citizenry like a good story of a Hometown Football Hero soldier getting killed by enemy fire or a naive blond Little Gal recruit being rescued by our big strong Marines, whatever.
And that would justify all the money Dubya spent on civilian propaganda, too!
See, things do work out in the end for you rich guys, you just have to suffer a little while, while your bank accounts multiply like fishes.

Oh yes... and John, the IED joke wasn't any funnier than the Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran song, or the Springtime Carpet Deals in the Baghdad Market! shtick.

Senator McCain, you are whistling in a graveyard on the bones of hundreds of thousands of innocent victims of an invasion based on lies. You sound like an ass.